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Mommying

Ever heard of "adulting?" Adulting is the act of being an adult and having to do adult-like things (cleaning, cooking, working, paying bills, etc. etc. etc. this is a never-ending list).

Mommying is exactly the same thing, with the added responsibilities of being a mom. So this may include cleaning up after your kids, cooking for your kids, changing diapers, school activities, play dates, waking up before you want to, not sleeping enough, washing tons of laundry, kissing booboos, etc.

Can I just state that I LOVE being a mom. Looooooove it. But part of mommying can be ugly. Let's talk about the ugly...

The attack.

My precious little angel got his first tooth recently! And he's been gnawing on everything since (I'm sure you can guess where this is going.) He's taken a fancy to gnawing on my nips. By golly, this is the definition of ugly mommying. That one little tooth, made of razor blades, can inflict more pain than imaginable. But I'm going to try to help you imagine it, so work with me here...Imagine you're having a wonderful picnic with your family. All is well, you're eating and enjoying yourself and then, OUT OF NOWHERE, a gorilla comes and tries to chew your nipple off. You get the gorilla off of you but you just know that he's coming back for more and you can't avoid it. WHY CAN'T YOU GET THIS GORILLA TO STOP ATTACKING YOU? I'll tell you why, because this gorilla just so happens to need you and depends on you for food. So instead of enjoying your picnic in the park, you have to voluntarily walk over, pull your boob out, and try to feed him and look for his cues before he starts the attack again. Maybe that's not a good explanation, clearly we don't breastfeed gorillas, but I hear their attacks are really painful and therefore I think this metaphor is justified. 

The dirty deed.

Nope, not talking about sexy time with you and your spouse. I'm talking the literal DIRTY deed. One of the downfalls of cloth diapering comes after they start eating whole foods. Their poops get smelly, sticky, chunky, and downright disgusting. You can't put that diaper full of peanut butter corn kernel unidentifiable thingamajigs in the washing machine just the way it is...nope, you have to scrape as much poop off as you can. There are a few different methods to this madness: you can use a diaper sprayer and clean it off into the toilet, you can use a spatula (designated, not interchangeable with the ones in the kitchen) and scrape it into the toilet, or you can do the dunk and swish method where you literally dunk it in the toilet and try to rinse it off. None of these worked for us.

Instead, we have a tiny trashcan with a tight lid next to his changing table and we take a nice thick paper towel and literally scrape the poop off, ball it up, and throw it away. Then we empty the trashcan every few days. I realize some people may not agree with this method but his poop is so sticky at this point that it's the only thing that works. But oh-em-gee, we've learned to throw it away at the very last moment before leaving the room because the stench that comes from that trashcan will light your nose hairs on fire. Even if there's nothing in it. I think the smell has burrowed itself into the metal and waits to jump out at you every time you open it. So what can you take from this mommying reality? That I'm not sure which is worse, scraping my childs poop out of his diaper by hand (with a paper towel, of course) or the stink in the trashcan that has resulted from it.

The command.

Ever thought you'd say to another human being, "Stop licking the fridge?" Yeah, me neither. I've had to say that sentence more times than I'd ever like to admit, thankfully I get to change up the last word every once in a while. "Stop licking the stove." "Stop licking the dishwasher." "Stop licking the trashcan." "Stop eating the rocks." "Stop eating the dirt." "Stop trying to eat the dog's fur." On a side note, it's pretty cool having someone find every bit of dirt/dog hair you have in the house. If I just walk behind him and intervene every time he tries to put something he found on the floor in his mouth, then I'm bound to have a spotless house one day, right? Back to the commands I thought I'd never have to say..."Stop pulling stuff out of the trashcan (mind you, NOT the same trashcan aforementioned)." "Stop dumping over the dog's water." "Stop eating the dog's food." "Stop eating my shoes." "Stop licking the floor." I often tell my husband that he's a dream crusher because he won't let Easton climb in the dishwasher or smack the shades into the window, but now I feel like a dream crusher because every single one of those commands began with "Stop." All this poor kid wants to do is eat every thing in sight and I've been stoping him...maybe I really am a dream crusher!!!! Nooooooo

*Literally, as I am writing this, I notice him chewing on something and I haven't given him food in about an hour. I reach in his mouth and pull out who knows what. One might think after reading this that I never clean my house, but it's actually very clean and he still finds stuff to eat!

The regurgitation. 

"Oh, you're not going to finish that...? Don't mind if I do." I know I'm not the only one who's done that. You're feeding your child part of your food, because they ALWAYS want your food, but then they don't eat it OR part of it sticks to their face OR they spit it back into your hand. What's a mom to do? Let this delicious food go to waste? Nah, not happening. What other possible answer is there other than to just...eat it? Part of mommying is eating the half-eaten food of your child. Especially when you don't have a napkin and they have food all over their face. You just take your finger, wipe it across their face to clean it, and voila! they have a clean face. But now your finger has food on it so however will you clean that? Oh that's right, you eat it off.

Being a mommy is the most beautiful thing in the world but it definitely has its moments where you question yourself. Tell us some of your #mommying moments!



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